Dissappearing act

sw: 119
g1 117 (5/6)
g2 115 (5/13)
g3 113 (5/20)
g4 111 (5/27)
g4 109 (6/3)
g6 107 (6/10)
g7 105 (6/17)
g8 103 (6/24)
g9 102 (7/1)
g10 100 (7/8)
g11 98 (7/15)
g12 96 (7/22)
gw13 94 (7/29)
gw14 92 (8/5)
gw15 90 (8/12)

in:

vegetarian’s shepeards pie  350

3 pieces of banana bread (575)

a few bites of salad 50

total:

975

I feel too tired and sick to go to lacrosse so I think I will go to the health center and get an excuse and get out of it. But I feel like that is WAY too high of an intake to not exercise …ugh :/ Alright well if I don’t eat any more or if I only eat fruit and diet coke the rest of the day I guess it will be ok. I will do better tomorrow. Monday I start ABC.

autumnbones: this photograph intrigues me so much! why isn’t this the most famous photo from 9/11 instead of the falling man? isn’t 2 people holding hands after jumping more significant than 1 man? it makes me wonder what the story is behind this photo, were they friends or lovers? or just strangers who were too scared to jump alone? it shows that people need a helping hand even in their final moments, i love it. Fucking reblog today; tomorrow. Any day I see it on my dash. Beautiful. I for one think they were strangers. Sometimes it’s easier to care for a stranger, how else would they have found the courage to not only jump, but to look into someone’s eyes and jump. I don’t think I could have done that if I knew the person well.

autumnbones:

this photograph intrigues me so much! why isn’t this the most famous photo from 9/11 instead of the falling man? isn’t 2 people holding hands after jumping more significant than 1 man? it makes me wonder what the story is behind this photo, were they friends or lovers? or just strangers who were too scared to jump alone? it shows that people need a helping hand even in their final moments, i love it.

Fucking reblog today; tomorrow. Any day I see it on my dash. Beautiful. I for one think they were strangers. Sometimes it’s easier to care for a stranger, how else would they have found the courage to not only jump, but to look into someone’s eyes and jump. I don’t think I could have done that if I knew the person well.

(via lickmycrucifix)

117.4 today. woot woot. I mean i haven’t eaten much though so I don’t trust that number, i still am really probably 119. My stomach rolls certainly look bigger than usual so i just don’t trust the scale today, it’s a filthy liar.

Okay. I am starting fresh AGAIN for the billionth time in the past 5 years. 

This vicious cycle of disordered eating to overeating back to disordered has gone on since I was in fucking 6th grade. I’m turning 17 next month. I’m still not thin. 

5’3, 120 lbs.

Fat. 

fat. 

fat. 

i’ve set up my goals not only with weights, but dates I am going to accomplish them by. I think that makes them look more ‘real’ to me, and makes me want to stick to them more cuz I’ll have to think ‘if i don’t follow the plan, if I don’t stay in control, then I won’t by skinny by -this date-‘. 

I’m going to try not to eat more than 1500 hundred today. I know that is a LOT but I’ve honestly binge eaten this entire weekend, like litearlly probably 3,000 calories yesterday.. . I need to get my intake back to a regulated, ‘normal’ amount then I’m going to do the ABC diet.